A.O.K.’s manly advice (for men)

tip #1

If you should fall in love with a woman that slightly resembles Bob Dylan, don’t tell her that. She will cry just like a little girl.

tip #2

Don’t kiss and walk at the same time. The parking meters don’t think it’s romantic. They think only of how to best smash your face in.

tip #3

When you’re smoking outside of a club in the winter time, wait until your glasses de-fog before entering the club and making out with the woman of your dreams, because there’s a guy inside that looks just like the woman of your dreams.

tip #4

If she tells you that she needs some space, don’t start rearranging the furniture.

tip #5

Women love it when men play hard to get; wait approximately two to four weeks before visiting her in the hospital.

tip #6

On Facebook Mobile, the “search” field and the “update status” field look very similar. Make sure you don’t mistaken the two or you’ll end up with a status that says: Omar is Michelle.

tip #7

If you’re on the dance floor and she’s talking to you, but you can’t hear her, press your sweaty ear against her mouth; she’ll know what you mean by it.

tip #8

If a woman at a club is caught reading your incoming text messages from over your shoulder, don’t give her the backstory of how you’d love to fuck the sender’s brains out, however, they are staying in to watch the Apprentice box set tonight.

tip #9

Don’t be afraid to ask out a woman you like, no matter how slim the chances of her accepting your proposal are. The worst that can happen is she’ll say no, and if she does, you can scream “NOT!” in her big, stupid face.

tip #10

Promising to immortalize a woman in one of your songs is not as appealing as it seems.

tip #11

Women like it when you kill spiders for them. They don’t like it when you torture it first, plucking each leg slowly and poking its remains with its own legs.

tip #12

Make sure you spend as much time staring into her eyes as you do her breasts.

tip #13

“Open wide, bitch” is something a dentist says to you, not something you say to women.

tip #14

Making love in your car is yet another thing movies have portrayed as easier to do than in real life.

tip #15

Not all woman expect you to book a room at the Marriott or the Hilton, so save your money. Some of them (but not all) will be content with the paper-thin walls at the El Rancho Motel.